| Location | Leeds |
| Age | 8 years |
| Cause of Death | Miscarriage |
| Date of Birth | 1998 |
| Date of Death | 2006 |
| Visitors | 735 since 21/12/2008 |
| Creator |
Hi My name is sarah and between 1998 and 2006 i have lost 5 of my beautiful darling children.
Here is my story
My stories are not of stillbirth but of early miscarriage and a choice that i had to make that i will live with and regret for the rest of my life.
My name is sarah and i am the very proud mummy of 4 earth children and 5 babies that fly high up in the clouds and play and watch over me and my family.
I lost my 1st baby on christmas day 1998...i was aprox 9 weeks pregnant and had only just done a test abd not even had it cinfirmed by my dr when i started to bleed..i was devastated.
In June 2001 i found out that i was pregnant to my new partner, we had only been together for 6 weeks when we found out that i was 4 weeks pregnant and although it was an immense shock we were so happy. When i was 7 weeks i began suffering with severe stomach pains and was sent for an early pregnancy scan where i learnt that i had been pregnant wit identical twins but sadley one didnt havea heartbeat.....if i am honest it has only been in the last 18 months or so tha have really began to grieve for this little baby who i named Jordan leigh...her twin Tia was born screaming on the 18th march 2002 and for tat i will always be grateful but also sad that i have a reminder of what Jordan would look like.
I then went on to have a further set of identical twin boys Jamie and Lewis in March 2003 and again it broke my heart as when i look at them i can see hw close Tia and Jordan should be although i know that Jordan will always be around Tia.
In february 2004 i again found out that i was pregnant and again eve though it was never confirmed i suspected that i was carrying twins as the strength of the symptoms were the same so early on as they had been with my previous twin pregnancies...sadly this was not meant to be and on the 25th March 2004 i lost my twin angels....
I then went on to have my youngest earth child eve on the 15th july 2005 and thought that my family was complete and started taking the pil....due to many problems tough i was only on a very low dose and because of this i again fell pregnant.
O the 6th April 2006 the decision was made by me to terminate this pregnancy as i already had 4 children under the age of 4 and adding another child would have meant that all of my cildren would suffer plus myself and andy who is my partner. This is the hardest decision that i have ever had to make and it took me a long time to weigh up what options i had but there really was no choice for me and so on the 10th of April at 12.15 i gave my yougest baby there wings and that is a choice that i have to live with for the rest of my life and it is a choice that even now almost 4years on still torments me.
Precious Child by Karen Taylor Good
In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still
In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still
In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
To The Child I'll Never Know - by Gloria Dianne
How can I say Good Bye
When I never said Hello,
Why does my heart grieve
For the child I'll never know?
You were a part of me
For just a little while.
I grieve because I'll never see
The magic in your smile.
I grieve for all the unsaid words
That you will never say.
I grieve that I will never see
You happily at play.
I grieve for all the lullabies
That will remain unsung.
I grieve because I'll never see
Your face gleaming like the sun.
I grieve because you will never know
The comfort of my touch.
I grieve because you will never know
That you were loved so much.
I grieve for all the tomorrows
That will never be.
I grieve because God chose
To take you back from me.
You live among the Angels now
Your earthly mission done,
You will be so dearly missed
Good-Bye my little one.
X X
Hello my little darlings, god i miss you all so so much, people have been saying some of the most horrible things lately but mummy has been taking no notice of them.
I'm going to ask you to stay close to Auntie Amy for me as she is having a new baby and i need you to make sure that your cousin is going to be here and ok, please help uncle dale to look after them both for me and remember to keep giving him all the cuddles that he is missing xxxxx
for my darling jordan
my darling jordan-leigh, 8 yrs ago today i went for my 1st scan with you and your twin sister tia, i didn't know i was carrying two of you until that day but sadly it was also the day they told me you had no heartbeat. I think about you everyday darling and carry you round in my heart. I also have a living reminder in your twin sister who was born on the 18th of march. Sleep peacefully my darling girl. I'll love you forever xxxx
Angel Babies - by Unknown Author
Over the rainbow, way up high,
Past fluffy white clouds the Angel babies fly.
With the sun's golden rays shining bright overhead,
Tumble and bumble they bounce out of bed.
Good morning, sun! The day has begun!
With delicate wings and sweet little faces,
They dance and they play and they race flying races.
Then, swooping and looping down through a cloud,
Or sliding and riding and singing out loud,
Wiggle and giggle, some fast and some slow,
The Angel babies fly to the earth down below.
Not everyone knows this, but truly it's true --
Little Angel babies have big jobs to do!
In gardens and meadows, they coax forth the flowers
With sunlight and love and gentle rain showers.
In fields and forests they spread soft white wings,
Sharing kindness and joy with all living things.
Small animal, babies in quiet green places
Rejoice in warm smiles from sweet Angel faces.
In backyards and baskets, on fireside rugs,
Small creatures are cuddles in soft Angel hugs.
Soon evening is bright with red-orange light,
And day slowly fades to make way for the night.
As good little children curl up in their beds,
The Angels bring sweet dreams to young sleepyheads.
Then the sound of a horn only Angels can hear
Calls out to them all,here and there, far and near.
It beckons them back from wherever they roam,
Work is done for the day! Now it's time to go home.
Blinking and winking, bright stars in the sky
Twinkle and shine as the Angels fly by, so softly singing a sweet lullaby.
Yawning and stretching, they climb in their beds.
Cloud blankets warm bodies, cloud pillows rest heads.
Snuggled in tight with the moon shining bright
Sleep tight, sweet dreams, good night.
Good night, Angel Babies, Sleep Tight xxx
So sorry for your losses. I lost my baby on 30th Jan this year at 13 weeks. Can't believe how hard it is and how much I miss my baby. Keep strong and take care. Michelle xxxx
Hello my sweet sweet babies.....
i have a few things to say, 1st happy 7th birthday Jordan i'm sorry that i have only just got on to see you sweethaert mummy was poorly.
Tomorrow it will be 5 years since my darling twins grew their wings and i wanted to let you all know that i will never ever forget an of you. i love yo all soo much and mis you every second of the day xxx
Hello my darlings....
I'm sorry that i have not been on in a while as you will know i have been so busy. I lit my candle for you though especially for you my 1st angel baby as it was 10 years on christmas day that i said goodbye to you and the hurt is stikk there...stronger than ever this year.
Please keep watching over us especially your brothers and sisters.
I love you all so very much...please also find william for me and let him know that his mummy is missing him so so much
love mummy
xxxxx
christmas angel
When we think of the Christmas angel
On top of the Christmas tree
She has pride of place
For all below to see.
When we think of the Christmas angel
The messenger of the Lord
He is so important in the Christmas story
Bringing God's Holy word.
When we think of the Christmas angel
We think of our child so dear
Mummy and Daddy miss you so much
Especially at this time of year.
When we think of our Christmas angel
We hope and we pray
That you know how much we think of you
And love you every day
Merry Christmas little oneXXXXX
If tomorrow starts without me
If tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not there to see,
if the sun should rise and find your eyes are filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say,
I know how much you love me...as much as i love you,
and each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too,
but when tomorrow starts without me I hope you understand,
that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand
she said my place was ready, in heaven up above,
and that I’d have to leave behind, all those I dearly love,
I had so much to live for, so much that I should do,
it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you,
I wish I could have said goodbye and kissed and seen you smile,
I wish I could have stayed with you, even for a little while,
but then I finally realised that this could never be,
now emptiness, not memories would take the place of me,
but when I walked through heavens gates I felt so much at home
and when god looked down and smiled at me from his golden throne,
he said "this is for eternity but I will ,promise you, although your life on earth is passed, here life
starts anew, I promise no tomorrow but today will always last, and since each days the same up here, there’s no longing for the past."
god is so forgiving and I am truly free,
and I will wait for you to come and share my life with me,
so when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me
I’m right here in your heart. xxxxxxx
so sorry for your losses. xxx
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